Try to spend 10 minutes outside today. Here’s what you can accomplish:
- You may get sunlight–good for Vitamin D and facilitating a positive mood.
- You may be more physically active than when indoors.
- Scan the horizon or look at objects far away–this stimulates a different part of your brain than looking at objects up close.
- Close your eyes and use your sense of smell–can you “smell the season?” What memories does the smell of the season bring to mind for you?
- Close your eyes and pay attention to what you hear. Can you identify the sounds? Do the sounds conjure up any memories?
- If there are clouds, notice the shapes and the movement. Clouds can be mesmerizing as well as spark creative thought!
If you’re feeling motivated, read this article by Richard Louv on “Nature Deficit Disorder.”
As I mentioned in About Daily Shoring, I started this blog with two audiences in mind:
- People who would like to build healthier habits and improve their emotional resilience, and
- People who are going through a difficult life transition, suffering a loss, grieving, and/or struggling with depression.
One of the most common questions I’m asked by clients going through a difficult life transition is, “What do I do? How do I get through this?”
Those who fare the best are those who have a solid emotional and interpersonal infrastructure. In other words, despite their loss, which may be significant, they have a daily routine, a variety of interests and friends/family who support them. They may be just going through the motions at the beginning, but at least they have motions to go through, until the worst of it starts to recede.
The goal with Daily Shoring is to:
- Help people who simply need to put one foot in front of the other until the depression lifts or the grief recedes, and
- Help others shore up their emotional infrastructure such that they have better coping skills, healthy daily habits, and a variety of interests and avenues for emotional support. This infrastructure is an integral part of the emotional resilience that makes life easier in general and helps people get through the really tough times.
So what’s your assignment for today? I want you to take inventory of your emotional infrastructure and determine which area needs your focus the most: Daily Routine, Variety of Interests, or Friends/Family. Focus on shoring up that part of your life today. Below are links to previous posts if you need inspiration!
Daily Routine:
Variety of Interests:
Friends/Family:
Learn about Someone You Admire
The very first Daily Shoring tip you received encouraged you to Clean Up Your Sleep Hygiene! I want to revisit sleep hygiene today because getting a good night’s rest is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Here are the basics; review, and choose an area (or 2!) that you can improve upon.
Get up at the same time each morning.
- I know this is really difficult, and may not work with many lifestyles, but it is important. If you’re serious about addressing insomnia, prioritize getting up at the same time each morning, even if you’ve rested poorly or gone to bed late.
- If you are exhausted later in the day, take a short nap (20 – 40 minutes).
Go to bed at the same time each evening.
- If you can’t do this every night, still try to get up at the same time each day to keep your circadian rhythm on track. Work in a short nap if you’re exhausted later in the day.
- Avoid being in bed for activities other than sleeping. This includes reading; your body should associate being in bed with falling asleep.
- If you are unable to fall asleep within 30 minutes, get out of bed and do something relaxing, such as reading or having a small snack of a banana or cereal (does anyone still drink warm milk?). It’s important to get out of bed because you don’t want to learn to associate your bed with tossing and turning.
- Establish a bedtime ritual to signal your mind & body that it’s time to shut down. For example, check that doors are locked and lights are off, attend to hygiene, then sit in a comfortable chair and read for thirty minutes (flipping through magazines counts!).
Prepare an appropriate sleep environment.
- Utilize a white noise machine if necessary.
- Make certain the room is a comfortable temperature. Most people sleep better in a cooler environment–make sure the room doesn’t get too warm in the middle of the night!
- Block out as much light as possible–this includes brightly lit clocks. Avoid the temptation to look at your phone if you wake up during the night.
- Do not watch television, play video games, work on the computer, smart phone, or read on your iPad for 30 minutes prior to going to bed; the flashes of light disrupt your body’s sleep/wake cycle.
Other suggestions for insomnia:
- A warm bath an hour before bedtime can help reset your body temperature and help you fall asleep as well as sleep through the night. (Exercise 3-5 hours before bedtime is even more effective!)
- Avoid physical exercise for approximately 2 hours prior to bedtime (but exercise earlier in the day is great for sleep, especially 3-5 hours before bedtime).
- Avoid alcohol for approximately 2-3 hours prior to bedtime.
- Avoid stimulants (including coffee, tea, and soft drinks) for 4-6 hours before bedtime.
If you have trouble shutting down your mind at night, try:
- A “Filler Task”
- Listen to a mindful meditation that will help with sleep.
- Use audible.com to download books to listen to while you fall asleep–it’s like having a bedtime story read to you! It’s not free–you have to pay for each book you download–but it may be worth it to lull yourself to sleep. You can download the audible app onto your smartphone and set the sleep timer so it shuts off automatically after 30 minutes, or whatever you choose.
Need a gentle but effective way to stay out of others’ drama, issues that don’t concern you, or responsibilities someone is trying to move onto your plate? Try saying this: “I’m going to stay in my own lane on this one.” Easy, and done!
I just recently learned this technique and it works like a charm! Who can argue with it? Or more to the point, if people do argue, they just passed the test that says they aren’t simply blowing off steam–they are, in fact, trying to get you involved in their issue. So redouble your efforts, repeat again if necessary, but Stay in Your Own Lane!
A useful variant: “That’s not in my lane.” This is helpful when someone is asking you about something you have knowledge about, but sharing that information is gossipy or may step on someone else’s toes. No need to go down a slippery slope of what to share and what not to share, just stay out of it!
This phrase also works well with self talk–if you find yourself wanting to jump into something that shouldn’t concern you, or your mind is floating away from your daily goals/task at hand, try reminding yourself you need to Stay in Your Own Lane.
Be mindful of an opportunity to try this technique over the next week, even if it’s just integrating it into your own self talk.
Do you have a similar technique to share?
How do you cope with stress, anxiety, and frustration?
Do you use different coping techniques for different situations? Do you have a variety of coping skills you can use? For today, try out a new coping mechanism!
Part of good emotional health is finding ways to cope with life’s stress–we usually find a few techniques that work for us and stick with them.
However, we can rely too much on just a few coping skills and those may wear thin when the stress increases. Here are a few very simple coping techniques–pick one (or a few!) and try them out over the next day or week. If something works for you, keep it in mind!
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Keep your voice calm and steady–it will calm you as well as keep a tense situation from escalating.
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When driving home from work, errands, or school, pick a landmark on the commute that will be your cue to take three diaphragmatic breaths. Every time you pass the landmark, do your deep breathing, even if (especially if?) someone is in the car with you!
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Put problems in perspective. When something frustrates or upsets you, ask yourself, “Will this really matter in a week/month/year?”
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Don’t talk about it! Sometimes, recounting your daily frustrations just reinforces the negative mood. Instead, let those frustrations go, like leaves floating down a river.
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Imagine how someone you admire would react in your situation and try to emulate that response.
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Imagine your mother or father is watching and behave in a way that would make them proud.
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If you’re at home and feel sad,angry, or anxious, physically move yourself! I mean this at the most basic level, i.e., if you’re on the couch, move to the kitchen. If you’re in your bedroom, go to the living room. Physically moving your body and changing the scenery, even a tiny amount, can help to shift your mindset.
What’s your favorite coping technique?
