During a crisis, take time to contemplate:

What do I Want Things to Look Like when this Crisis Resolves?

How do you create the mental space to contemplate a future that is uncertain and different from what you know (and desire)?  Let me walk you through the steps.

Daily life has changed for everyone.  We don’t know when this crisis will pass or what the “new normal” will look like, globally or locally.  We’ve all been asked to keep our social distance or self-isolate/shelter-in-place.  Isolation is not good for mental health.  But—try to reimagine this phase of recovery as:

We are all going to emerge from this crisis different than we were before.

Use this time to evolve.

How do you want to spend your time?

My rule of thumb is that, during times of disruption or recuperation, everyone gets one “pajama day”—you know what I mean.  One day that is so unstructured and unpressured that you never even get out of your pajamas.  But—one pajama day can be restorative; two pajama days is flirting with depression.  So—have that one pajama day if you need it, then:

Establish healthy daily routines for yourself and your family; edit with an eye toward harmony and efficiency.  Keep in mind—you’re not “just getting through this.”  You have an opportunity to emerge from this crisis with healthy new behaviors and routines.

How to do this?  While you’re cocooning, follow these steps:

Bookend Your Day

Almost everyone on the planet is establishing a new routine.  As you work through this, perhaps without the structure of going to work:

• Create, or invoke your already familiar, morning routine

• Bookend:  Transition from morning routine to the productive part of your day

• Productive mode:  Work, produce, create, imagine

If you’re working from home, attempt to have a dedicated physical workspace

• Bookend:  Transition from the productive part of your day to your evening with a notable ritual

• Mark the end the day (time for sleep) with a bedtime ritual

• Review each day and prepare for the next. 

This is important for maintaining routine and personal accountability.  If you did this before the crisis, don’t drop that grounding ritual now.  If you didn’t, now is the time. 

I like to use what I call “Daily Accounting.”  You can read more about it here. 

 Binging: Do’s and Don’t’s

Remember the question:  How do I want things to look when this crisis resolves?

A little indulgence is to be expected, but do you want the result of your cocooning to be: “I re-watched every episode of Star Trek!” “I gained 10 pounds!”  “I developed a drinking problem!”   

• Limit binging on video, food, alcohol, bad habits, and worry

Eat healthy.  Stay hydrated.  Moderate your screen time.  Limit bad habits.  Enough said. 

Limit binging on “worrying”  —  How?   

•  Engage in “Focused Worry”

It’s reasonable to be worried right now.  That’s why I’m using the term “worry” and not “anxiety.”  But “unproductive worry” leads to anxiety. Focus your “worry” so that it’s “productive.” 

Allow yourself dedicated, focused time to think through a problem, sort out what you might have some agency over, and establish an action plan.  You can make a list of aspects of the problem over which you have no control, but otherwise focus your energy on the things you can exert some control over. 

Establish one or two times a day for your focused worry—treat it like a solution oriented work session.  Set a timeframe and stick to it.

Do your focused worry at a workspace—don’t let it creep into your mind when you’re sitting on the couch or engaged in other activities.

If something pops into your head that you should research or put on your action plan, jot it down and save it for your focused worry time.  Don’t delve into it outside of your planned “focused worry” time—you’re training your brain to contain the problem in time and mental space. 

Follow through with your action plan.  You need to be able to trust yourself to do what you can do—that alleviates anxiety.

 Find your Flow

Most of us keep a list of projects or activities that we would like to get around to someday. . . but when?  These projects generally fall into two categories:

•  Projects to make my life more organized/manageable/efficient/enjoyable

• Projects I enjoy or want to explore, but haven’t had time for during day-to-day life

Now is the time.  Instead of binge-watching, tackle/indulge in these projects.  If you don’t have a list, make one now. 

By attending to these projects, you’re focusing on what you want things to look like as the crisis resolves. 

This can be concrete, such as:

            I want my kitchen reorganized.

            I want all my digital files organized and backed up.

            I want my living space de-cluttered.

            I want to finish that project.

And this can be broader, such as:

            I want to be more intentional about how I spend my time.

            I want to learn about ______________.

            I want to emerge from this crisis with a new career path.

Notice how you feel when you engage in these projects, especially the “enjoy/want to explore” projects.  Do you find yourself losing track of time, feeling optimally challenged and satisfied as you wind down the activity?  Maybe you’ve found your “flow.”  Read this for more about flow and flow activities. 

You may be discovering a new career path, hobby, or avocation. 

Use your cocooning time to explore and grow.

 Move your Body Every Day

I’ve written extensively about the importance of exercise for your mind and mood. Physical activity alleviates anxiety and depression, promotes physical well being, and enhances restorative sleep.   

Even if you’re cooped up inside, you can try:

         Jumping jacks

            Pushups

            Stretching

            Youtube exercise videos

 Get Restorative Sleep

If you’re following the steps outlined above, chances are you’re finding your natural circadian rhythm.  With exercise, good nutrition, and habits to train your mind/body for the rhythms of the day, sleep will become more restorative.  For additional resources, see here and here. 

 Enjoy the Curative Properties of Nature

If possible, get outside.  Breathe in fresh air and look at the sky.  Nature, even if it’s just looking at the sky, is restorative and grounding.  I hear time and again from depressed clients, when they are finally able to get themselves outside, that “there’s something about nature that just puts it all in perspective.” 

If you can get outside, please walk or run.  The combination of nature and exercise is especially healing. 

As you establish a new normal and find your rhythm, pay attention to what is comforting, exciting, and engaging.  Create healthy behaviors and routines that are transportable to the future.   And remember:  What you’re doing now establishes the groundwork for what things will look like as this crisis resolves. 

Of note:  Keep in mind your that some people are not staying home and don’t have extra time—medical professionals, grocery store workers, police, fire fighters,, etc. They are physically and mentally exhausted. Please look for ways to support them.